2-15-12

"There Is No Unmarked Woman" Deborah Tannen

I just read the writings of Tannen, concerning women, and I think she synthesized what all of us know very well. Women must make a zillion choices each day with their clothing, make up, hair and personality- because we are constantly being judged. Every decision we make- is she wearing make up, how high is her skirt, what color is her blouse- is considered to be deliberate by everyone around us. If a man looks average (jeans, tee-shirt), he is just average. If a woman looks average (jeans, tee-shirt) she is maybe seen as lazy, or as organic, or as care-free, but never, ever is she seen as normal. Because, let's face it, there is no such thing as a standard woman. Everything is a statement.

So that is basically the argument she makes as well.

When I get introspective about it, I realize that I must be making a statement too. My style is erratic, because so is my confidence (I'd say my fluctuations between "Damn, I might just be a little good looking" and "What is this creature in the mirror?!" are stupidly frequent). On days I feel gross I wear zip ups, sweat shirts, yoga pants, or band tee-shirts. On days I feel decent, I wear actual shirts, and jeans (oh, wow, getting reaaaal racy there..). Regardless EVERYTHING is black (besides the jeans) or heavily shaded hues (pretty much black-green, black-blue, black-purple). My make up centers around making my skin look clear and my eyes look bigger- with some brow liner here and lip liner there. It is a forty minute process that turns out looking like I'm not really wearing any makeup at all (yeah! let's start the day right off with a tedious task with little pay off!) Lately I wash my hair at night, spray dry shampoo on in the morning, and tie it up (because I massacred my bangs a week ago, as all girls do once or twice a lifetime).

So what is the "statement"? I can imagine, if any boy or girl in the hectic hallways or snore-fest classes I have cares to notice my clothing, would say to themselves, "She looks uncomfortable with the exception of a few days here and there. Overall a bit dark and sad."

Well, RIGHTOH my good man!