2-22-12

Bon Iver Lyrics

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Often, I think about what I do wrong. Not obsessively or constructively, these thoughts about my character flaws scratch at my conscience until I am finally required to put them before my daily activities and THINK about them hard. Bon Iver sings, "I told you.. I told you.. I told you" and these words forced me to think about my relationships.

Too much I dismiss myself as very, very humble- to the point of self-disgust. But, even the person with the lowest self-esteem is capable of treating others just as bad as they treat themselves. Actually, I think people who have problems with who they are as themselves tend to create and critique a grand amount of problems in the people they value in their lives.

It is true, and embarrassing, that I have become so used to jealously that I don't even recognize the emotion anymore.

It is also true that I refuse compliments so ardently that I discourage and offend the people who give them to me.

It is sadly true that I find myself annoyed with my boyfriend for parts of his personality that made me fall in love with him- that I still love, but take for granted. I shouldn't expect him to be any different (especially reminding me of these song lyrics).

It is mostly true that people find me frigid,

But it is absolutely true that I love to talk,

and if I was happier, I'd seem warm.

It is false that I don't try to be a better person.